The Why

The purpose of this blog is the share my journey as a pregnant Mama after the loss of a baby, my baby, Peter.

My perspective is going to be different than many but there will never be an identical story. 

I am diabetic so losing a baby at 38 weeks is a true fear again. I know women who have had still births have a fear of losing there next babies diabetic or not! This is my journey.

Today, I am twelve weeks and 2 days pregnant. At mass this morning God placed on my heart to start this blog.  What a weird title but I thought what are the chances that this blog page will be free.  Well if it is I will start writing Lord. 

Here I am writing.  My purpose, my why, to share with you.  To share my journey through the next 6 months. 

I trust God and know that the outcome of this baby growing within my is His will. I may have a perfectly healthy baby, a second still birth or anything in between but it is His will and I am choosing to trust him. This is a new reality.  It took me 11 weeks to reach this conclusion.  Last week at mass I realized that I have a little Saint in heaven and if it is God's will for me to have two saints in heaven I need to except His will and prepare my husband and other children for all possibilities.  How do I do this?  I truly do not know but this is my journey! 

I will say that YES this is without a doubt the scariest pregnancies I have gone through and I am only 12 weeks and 2 days.  I have not told many people (until now/today)! 

I am not sure why but it is important to me that other Mamas having a hard pregnancy have a place to come and know they are not the only one.  I am not a writer so if you are expecting quality writing you will not get it here. What you will get is my emotions good, bad, and indifferent. My experience and how I am doing TODAY!

Hope you are looking forward to taking this journey with me. Only God knows how this will end!